As both a mom and memoirist, I completely get the urge to write about your children. Our little ones provide endless inspiration! But putting your family stories out there requires thoughtfulness.
Your kids deserve privacy and agency about how their lives are shared. As authors and parents, we must walk that line sensitively.
From navigating writing about my three kids in my memoirs, here are my top tips for writing about young people with care:
Have an open conversation
Explain what aspects of their lives you want to write about. Listen to any concerns they share. Discussion builds trust.
Keep identities private
Use pseudonyms, don’t share birth dates or locations. Offer maximal privacy, especially for content published publicly.
Avoid overexposure
Kids’ stories will change. Don’t commit intimate details to print that they may later resent.
Portray them as complex
Show their quirks and flaws, not just positives. Well-rounded stories reflect their humanity.
Put money in savings
If publishing, place any profits in trust for them. Let them access funds as adults since it’s their story.
Omit overly personal information
Respect their right to reveal their own stories once adult, including medical or romantic information.
Practice empathy
How would you feel if your parents had written about you as a child? Honor their likely preferences.
Nix excessive stories about rule-breaking or rebellion
Don’t overfocus on normal kid disobedience for your amusement. Think long-term.
Review together when older
When mature enough to understand your process, walk them through excerpts that include them.
Consider their current feelings
If upset by public exposure now, weigh postponing publishing until adulthood with their consent.
Make them the hero
When retelling stories involving them, portray their actions and decisions in an empowering light.
Offer veto power
Give them the ability to edit or nix certain passages about themselves, even if you don’t agree.
Write with their future selves in mind
Craft stories you feel would make their older selves proud, not embarrassed, about their youth.
Ultimately, write with compassion. One day they’ll be adults who will look back on how you portrayed their childhoods. Leave them feeling protected, not overexposed.
Of course, lighthearted family anecdotes and milestones often make wonderful stories. The goal isn’t to avoid writing about kids entirely. Simply do so with care and consent. Know when to draw boundaries around sensitive matters.
What tips do you have for writing about kids and teens? Share your thoughts! Let’s keep inspiring each other to honor their stories with wisdom.
Write on, friends!
Angie
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